In years past, I regularly worked on our vehicles. It was an economic necessity. As a lower enlisted man in the Navy, I simply didn’t make enough money to pay someone else to work on my car. Hell, I could barely afford to do it myself.

With each newly acquired vehicle, I purchased the appropriate Haynes Repair Guide and learned my way around the car. I replaced alternators, starters, shock absorbers, brake pads and rotors and performed my own tune-ups. Once you gain a sense for how a car actually works, it really isn’t very difficult. But it can also be insanely frustrating. Lacking an expansive toolbox, I scraped plenty of knuckles, stripped plenty of nuts and swore and cursed enough to make my sailor buddies proud. Fucking cars.

Anyway, Jen drives a 2000 Volkswagen Jetta nowadays. Back when it was new and under warranty, we naturally sent it to the dealer for service. But once the warranty expired, Jen continued to insist on dealer service, believing it to be head and shoulders above the rest.

Until they droped the ball, that is.

For some reason, I’d always believed repair shops to be full of crooks and con artists just waiting for the next sucker. And, in my mind, “Authorized Dealer” repair shops were the worst. After one $600 repair bill after another (no matter the symptom), I think Jen came to agree with me. Bloodsuckers, all of them.

In my eternal quest to avoid dealing with scum, I’ve taken to paying cash for my vehicles, always used. Naturally, I maintained them as well. But as I’ve gotten older, I’ve lost interest in sticking my head under the hood, even if it means keeping more of my hard earned cash.

Recently, my 1997 Jeep Grand Cherokee began to act up. As I sat at stop signs and traffic lights, the transmission slipped out of gear. Most times, it corrected itself once I hit the gas. I quickly realized that if I shifted to neutral, I could avoid the delay altogether. I *knew* the jeep needed to be serviced, I *knew* I couldn’t do it, but I *still* dealt with the inconvenience, not to mention the risk of costly repairs later on, rather than drive down the road to see my arch nemesis, the car mechanic. When it began to slip out of gear at speed (meaning, while I was moving), I was like “Uh oh….”.

Almost simultaneously, the Jeep began to stall randomly. Just as with the transmission issue, it acted up mostly at rest, with an occasional stall at speed. Stalling while in motion is no joke. That’s when I swallowed my pride and called Jen’s mechanic, who’s actually a pretty honest, trustworthy guy.

Having said that, I think it’s pretty clear that today’s mechanic relies upon the ever-present computer to tell him what’s wrong. This case was no different. He pulled the diagnostic codes and made his recommendations. There were two issues, an unrelated sensor issue (Evaporative Emission Control System Purge Control Valve Circuit) and the ignition coil. He explained that the ignition coil could cause the stalling issue, by interrupting spark. It sounded plausible, it really did. And besides, the computer said it needed to be replaced. $400 later, I was rolling out of there, content in the fact that I wouldn’t be left on the side of the road.

From there, I took the Jeep to Capitol Transmission, in Hartford. They found that the transmission issues were caused by leaking transmission fluid cooling lines. Thankfully, I didn’t need a transmission rebuild. $300 and I’m outta there. I was generally happy with the whole experience.

Two days later I was on the side of the road, on the phone with AAA.

I’ll save the rest of this story for a follow up post, mostly because I’m tired of typing. Don’t touch that dial.

Overheard in a public restroom today…..

Man 1: …..I don’t understand why these gay guys feel they have to do that.

Man 2: Well, it must be hard for them, having to hide it all the time.

(as they head for the door, it occurs to him they weren’t alone.)

Man 1: We gotta stop having gay conversations in the bathroom.

HA!

Tags: humor, xkcd

Bri: Daddy, that old guy that just drove by was listening to an ipod.

Dave: Old people listen to ipods, too………..

Bri (incredulous): What do they listen to — Eye of the Tiger?!?

oh Boy! what a name!

One week ago, we arrived at Bristol Hospital with butterflies in our stomachs in anticipation of finding out the sex of the baby. Bri and I were *really* hoping for a boy. We thought Jen hoped for the same, but afterward she admitted to having secretly wanted a little girl.

When Jen was pregnant with Bri, three ultrasounds ended with no determination of sex. Arrgh!

Even so, almost everyone we knew had been convinced Jen was having a boy. They’d all used various old wives’ tales to come to that conclusion. Jen’s carrying high (or was it low?). There was a glow about her, that only happens when it’s a boy, everyone knows that! It’s obvious!

They were wrong. All of them.

I knew it because I’d had a dream and in this dream, she was a girl. There were no details beyond that. But when I woke up, I was convinced. We didn’t even consider boy names from that point forward. (I’m not normally this superstitious. Or at all. I don’t know what came over me.)

This time around, events played out in much the same way. (There is one pretty big twist, but I’m not going to write about that today. Maybe another time.) Once again, everyone predicted a boy. And once again, I did not.

After an agonizing 20 minute examination where the ultrasound lady measured every little body part, she announced that it was a boy! Jen was disappointed that she didn’t bother to show us a penis, but I was so excited I didn’t bother to do a proper verification.

In any case, we were very excited to have arrived at this milestone.

Having already discussed the possibilities, it allowed us to settle on a name: Santiago Jose Rodriguez. We’ve continued the tradition of taking a family member’s first name and using it as the middle. Bri’s middle name is Margarita, after my father’s mother. Jose is Jen’s father’s name as well as that of Jen’s great-grandfather on her mother’s side. I love the fact that the entire name can be pronounced in both Portuguese and Spanish.

Only 4 more months!

This is turning out to be quite a year for our household!

Earlier this year, Jen learned that she was being inducted into not one but two(!) honor societies! Her major is Elementary Education, so she was invited to join Kappa Delta Pi, the Honor Society in Education (picture above, thanks to Tina).

Jen is minoring in History and so was also invited to join Phi Alpha Theta, another honor society. What a geek!

As many of our friends and family are aware, we are in the process of buying a house. We expect to close on May 25th and can’t wait to move in. The house is part of an estate, being sold by the daughters of man who recently passed. As you might imagine, there is plenty of work waiting for us, but nevertheless we are all super excited about the move.

Well, except for Bri…..but she’ll get over it, because……
Jen’s pregnant!

We found out on Bri’s birthday, so it was only natural that Bri announced it to the family at her birthday party this past Saturday. Most people were shocked, presumably because they’d all given up on us having another kid. But I shocked all my critics and pulled it off in the end!

Naturally, it’s much too early to know much more that the due date, which, for now, is pegged at Dec 17th. This is going to be a December baby, just like me. This is my big opportunity; I’ve been given the chance to right all the wrongs of my childhood. This kid’s gonna receive two gifts! One for his birthday and one for Christmas! bwaaahahaha!

Anyway, we don’t find out the sex until August sometime. I don’t know how I’m going to hold out. And for the record, I’m cool with either. But I would love to know. Three more months is going to kill me…..

I’m in Va Beach for a firewall project which necessitated my staying here over the weekend. I’m so very bored that I decided to come to Panera to mooch their free refills and their free wifi.

I thought this might actually be a relaxing way to spend the morning. Until I was joined by a couple who are apparently headed for a crash landing. Well, they’re at the next table, but it sounds like they’re sitting with me. She’s crying now….great.

I don’t mean to make fun, but damn! Find a table in a corner or something!

OH! They’re done, I think. Have a good life, MFer!

(I’m a bastard, I know)

UPDATE: Ok, so today is going to be “Observe and bitch about those around you” day.

Several women and a pile of kids walked in a few minutes ago. As they all sat down (right near me of course), I couldn’t help but notice the moms all doing that really annoying ‘cater to your childs every wish, no matter how inconvenient or inappropriate’ thing. I thought to myself, “Oh boy, they’re creating little monsters, before my very eyes.”.

Almost immediately, I realized I was being a judgemental jerk and kinda sorta felt bad about it.

Imagine my sweet surprise, when just a few minutes later, I watched one kid try SEVERAL TIMES to slap his mother in the face! She was absorbed in conversation and didn’t even notice his flailing little arms until the third attempt or so. Feisty little bugger!

Do you think the kid was put in his place? No, of course he wasn’t, because if he had ever been disciplined in his short little life, he would probably not be trying to slap mommy for the entertainment of the viewing public. Instead, she turns to the little bastard and says “I’m going to take all your cars away!”.

Oh no, not the cars!

Now, if the cars meant the world to the kid and she’d followed through on the threat, then maybe this would be an appropriate punishment, but I heard the way she said it. It came out of her mouth for the millionth time and her tiny little assailant wasn’t buying it. He went back to the cars, ignoring her meek objections to the (near) bitch slaps.

The Daddys have shown up now. Ike’s father has about as much control over him as momma does. This kid has bigger balls than any man at that table!

Don’t tell my mom, but sometimes I miss the days of good old fashioned beat-downs….

Check out the photos of Christmas Eve through our impromptu New Year’s Eve get-together last night!

(click the photo to go to the album)