I’m in Va Beach for a firewall project which necessitated my staying here over the weekend. I’m so very bored that I decided to come to Panera to mooch their free refills and their free wifi.

I thought this might actually be a relaxing way to spend the morning. Until I was joined by a couple who are apparently headed for a crash landing. Well, they’re at the next table, but it sounds like they’re sitting with me. She’s crying now….great.

I don’t mean to make fun, but damn! Find a table in a corner or something!

OH! They’re done, I think. Have a good life, MFer!

(I’m a bastard, I know)

UPDATE: Ok, so today is going to be “Observe and bitch about those around you” day.

Several women and a pile of kids walked in a few minutes ago. As they all sat down (right near me of course), I couldn’t help but notice the moms all doing that really annoying ‘cater to your childs every wish, no matter how inconvenient or inappropriate’ thing. I thought to myself, “Oh boy, they’re creating little monsters, before my very eyes.”.

Almost immediately, I realized I was being a judgemental jerk and kinda sorta felt bad about it.

Imagine my sweet surprise, when just a few minutes later, I watched one kid try SEVERAL TIMES to slap his mother in the face! She was absorbed in conversation and didn’t even notice his flailing little arms until the third attempt or so. Feisty little bugger!

Do you think the kid was put in his place? No, of course he wasn’t, because if he had ever been disciplined in his short little life, he would probably not be trying to slap mommy for the entertainment of the viewing public. Instead, she turns to the little bastard and says “I’m going to take all your cars away!”.

Oh no, not the cars!

Now, if the cars meant the world to the kid and she’d followed through on the threat, then maybe this would be an appropriate punishment, but I heard the way she said it. It came out of her mouth for the millionth time and her tiny little assailant wasn’t buying it. He went back to the cars, ignoring her meek objections to the (near) bitch slaps.

The Daddys have shown up now. Ike’s father has about as much control over him as momma does. This kid has bigger balls than any man at that table!

Don’t tell my mom, but sometimes I miss the days of good old fashioned beat-downs….